The connection between dating and steroids is discussed far less than muscle growth or side effects, but it is a real question for people using anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS) and for their partners. Steroid use can affect sexual desire, mood, body image, and fertility, and those changes rarely stay contained to the person using.
This article covers what the evidence suggests about each of those areas, what partners often notice first, and when it is worth seeking help. It does not promise that steroids improve confidence or dating outcomes, because the evidence does not support that.
Does steroid use increase confidence?
Some people report feeling more assertive and socially confident during AAS use, and that experience is genuine. But it is not a reliable or lasting effect, and it has a counterpart that is easy to overlook.
In a randomized controlled trial, most healthy men given high doses of testosterone showed little psychological change, while a small number developed marked symptoms of mania or hypomania, including elevated mood, irritability, and reduced need for sleep (Pope et al., 2000). The same hormonal change that can feel like confidence in one person can present as irritability or poor judgment in another.
Confidence that depends on a drug also tends to fall away when use stops, which is part of why the period after a cycle is difficult for some people.
What happens to libido?
Libido commonly rises during AAS use and commonly falls after stopping, and both directions affect relationships.
During use, increased sexual desire is one of the most frequently reported effects. A mismatch in desire between partners can create friction, particularly if the change is sudden and unexplained.
After stopping, the picture often reverses. Natural testosterone production can remain suppressed for months or longer, and reduced sexual desire is a common symptom during that period. Our article on libido after steroids explains why the timeline varies so much between individuals.
Libido is not the same as sexual function
Reduced desire and erectile difficulties are different things, and either can occur without the other. Both are common reasons people seek medical advice after AAS use, and both are treatable. Neither is something to wait out indefinitely.
How does mood affect relationships?
Mood changes are among the effects partners notice earliest, often before the person using does.
Irritability, a shortened temper, and emotional volatility have all been reported during AAS use. The evidence on aggression specifically is mixed, and most people who use AAS do not become violent, but a subset experience significant mood effects.
After stopping, low mood is common as hormone levels fall. This can appear as withdrawal, loss of interest, or emotional distance rather than obvious sadness, which partners may read as rejection. Our article on steroids and mental health covers what research shows about mood during and after use.
Depression after stopping AAS can be serious, and it has been linked to suicidal thoughts in some cases. Anyone experiencing persistent low mood or thoughts of self-harm should seek help promptly from a doctor, a mental health professional, or a crisis line, rather than waiting for hormones to recover.
Why secrecy causes problems
Many people who use AAS do not tell their partners, and this is one of the more consistent sources of relationship strain.
Secrecy creates practical difficulties: explaining mood changes, physical changes, time spent training, and the cost. It also means a partner is trying to interpret changes without the information needed to understand them. When use is eventually disclosed, the concealment itself often becomes the larger issue.
Honesty also matters medically. A partner who knows can recognize warning signs, and it makes it easier to involve a doctor if problems develop.
Body image and time commitment
AAS use is associated with muscle dysmorphia, a form of body dysmorphic disorder in which a person believes they are not muscular enough despite being muscular. It is more common among AAS users than in the general population and can involve significant distress, rigid routines, and avoidance of situations where the body is visible.
This affects relationships directly. Training schedules, strict eating patterns, and preoccupation with appearance take time and attention. Partners often describe feeling that training comes first.
Muscle dysmorphia is treatable, and it is worth discussing with a healthcare professional rather than treating as a personality trait.
Fertility is a separate conversation
For couples who may want children, this is the most practical consideration, and it is frequently misunderstood.
AAS suppress the hormonal signals that drive sperm production, and sperm counts can fall dramatically during use. Normal libido and normal sexual function say nothing about fertility, so the absence of symptoms is not reassurance. Our article on steroids and male fertility explains how this suppression works.
Recovery of sperm production can take considerably longer than other effects, and it does not always return fully. Anyone planning a pregnancy should raise this with a doctor well in advance rather than assuming it will resolve.
What partners can do
Raise concerns about mood or behavior directly but without confrontation. Changes that seem like personality shifts may have a physiological component.
Take persistent low mood seriously, particularly after use stops, and encourage professional help.
Ask about plans for children early, rather than discovering a problem later.
Recognize what is not your responsibility. A partner cannot manage someone else’s drug use, and support does not mean taking on that role.
Anyone concerned about a partner’s use, or their own, can speak with a doctor confidentially. In the United States, the SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) provides free, confidential information and referrals around the clock.
The bottom line
The honest version of the dating and steroids conversation is that AAS use affects relationships in several ways, and few of them are the ones usually advertised. Libido often rises during use and falls afterwards, mood changes are common and frequently noticed by partners first, body image preoccupation takes time and attention, and fertility can be affected without any obvious symptoms.
Confidence during use is real for some people but is not a reliable effect and does not persist after stopping. Communication, honesty about use, and willingness to involve a healthcare professional matter more for a relationship than any effect the compounds themselves produce.
References
Pope HG Jr, Kouri EM, Hudson JI. Effects of supraphysiologic doses of testosterone on mood and aggression in normal men: a randomized controlled trial. Archives of General Psychiatry. 2000;57(2):133–140. Pope HG Jr, Wood RI, Rogol A, Nyberg F, Bowers L, Bhasin S. Adverse health consequences of performance-enhancing drugs: an Endocrine Society scientific statement. Endocrine Reviews. 2014;35(3):341–375.
